Online dating is making me a player. I’ve never attempted to date more than one guy before. I have gone out with more than one guy in the space of a week (but never within the same day), but usually when it comes down to the second date, I’ve narrowed my choices down to one. Now I’m down to two and finding the right thing to do which still lets me have my fun is proving a bit elusive.
What I want to do is commit a sin of omission. If neither of them specifically asks if I’m dating someone else, well it’s their fault for assuming we’re exclusive. Chick though I may be, I don’t like talking about relationships. The last time I tried to get permission for dating someone else, it went badly. I asked if we were exclusive and got a host of reassurances from the guy that I was the only one he was remotely considering. So at that point I felt bad saying the reason I asked was not for reassurance but permission.
This whole thing is a mess of raging hormones, guilt, and confusion. Which is still infinitely better than not dating anyone at all.
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3 comments:
YES!!!! Jesus, at date two you can't possibly be expected to be exclusive, mind made up about anything surely. Not even sure about date three, four or five. Or whether its one date's business what you are or not doing with another date. You are dating, not marrying! I'm having trouble believing you are even asking, feeling guilty. These guys don't have exclusive rights to any bit of you yet.
I agree with Rachel, YES!!! I just wanted to say, I love reading your blog. It's so interesting and really makes me think about what dating is like out of college. However, it is completely OK to be sleeping with someone before you make up your mind, you have to find out if he's worth dating right? ;) Plus, you know that these men wouldn't think twice given the chance for a rendezvous of their own.
Anyways--when it rains, it does pour. I have a similar situation going on right now. I just joined a club at my school and went to a social. I'm not that even that attractive, but EVERYONE was hitting me. I think it's the similar "new girl effect." Any decently attractive girl who is funny, can drink, and is intelligent, they flock to. It's hard because you meet all these new, awesome guys and want them all. Lot's of sexy men, and if you choose one, you're afraid you'll lose a chance with another--so play them right? Not that easy when everyone knows eachother, even at a school with 40,000 kids.
You're lucky that these guys will probably have no way of finding out, myself on the otherhand am an idiot and made out with two of them in a drunken, blacked out stooper and probably ruined any chances with the one I actually like.
Oh well, have fun while you can and enjoy the fact that you can keep it for the most part private. My recent philosophy is to never judge. We decided that 2009 is the year "she don't care." Men have been doing it all along, it's our turn. Do what you please, screw everyone else, and I promise I won't jusge you :)
Maria, you're getting an early insight into what happens when you don't marry your college boyfriend. You don't really do anything close to formal dating until you're out of school. Then you have to contend with all these issues.
I like your 2009 motto. My motto for 1996 was "fuck it." I drag that old chestnut out of the closet when necessary.
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