Foreplay

I know, how much more clichéd can you get than a woman complaining about no foreplay? I’ll chalk it up to being incredibly lucky, but this really hadn’t emerged as a problem in my life before now. Well, that’s not entirely true, the one time it came up before I assumed it meant the guy was gay (there were other indicators). Yes. I’m that egotistical.

I’ve written about the mystery of sexual compatibility before, but I’m starting to wonder if this solves most of it. I have more than the one erogenous zone and it all works so much better when a guy hits at least a few of them. I think attention to detail is a large part of sexual compatibility for me.

I’m glad I figured that out, but it does raise new issues. Even worse, I can’t think of a guy I can ask about this who would give me any kind of honest answer. First, why no foreplay? My first instinct is that he’s not attracted to me. My second is to guess that it’s some kind of problem related to being in very long-term relationships. Maybe guys get out of the habit. Or maybe it’s really that I was mistaken in believing that guys get turned on by anything that isn’t happening to them.

Next I worry that they’re projecting. Does it not do anything when I touch them? Maybe they’re thinking, geez, get to the good stuff so they decide they’ll show me how to not waste time. And then there’s the problem of having to ask for it. There’s something very awkward about having to ask a guy to pay attention to your body. But hey, a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.

We’ll see if this problem is solvable. I think not though. I’m trying to keep an open mind, but having to talk a guy into foreplay only makes me long for the guys who know how to touch a woman.